I miss dancing, because when something made me sad I was relaxing with dance but now I feel as that I´m a useless person. You know this to the only one thing to belongs you is your body, it´s just yours and no one can say nothing about it but when you got ill you think that it´s like not yours and as it betrays you actually it´s not our body´s fault it´s just our brain´s (our pessimistic thought) and we destroy ourself. We make bigger our small doubts. This shit´s been happening when we thought a lot things it just simply frenzies …
I got a feeling that I´m going under, my whole body is aching now. I have to reap what I sow, I´m left seeing red on my own. I need get everything out of my head. The whisper inside me says me, you can´t give up you have to try till you can´t breathe.
Yes they are about my mind´s wars now i go back to real life and talk about hospital in Portugal. How was the first experience for me, I was struggling with awful pains and I noticed to I have to go to doctor yes I´ve heard something about it before but I didn´t know to it will be so bad. Monica helped me and picked me up to hospital. We accessed to hospital and the nurse gave me a bracelet which it has information and we waited for my turn then they called me and I went to tell my problem, they send me to orthopedics for x-ray. After it we waited for them again it was step by step and we always had to wait between this steps. Finally the doctor wanted me for learning to how it´s happened, I explained it and Monica translated for me and he´s just showed me a page and said: “use this band for your leg, listen your Turkish doctor” I was shocked a bit then I asked, “is it OK, is it only that”
Wow this is an amazing doctor, what the fuck!
Let´s go and take the bill, the second shocking thing yes when I looked it´s written 116 euro, I thought to a number is more in this number, isn´t there a mistake, may be why not but no there wasn´t. I have to say that when you did it in turkey it´s just 2 euro and for this cost I spent university scholarship of two months. If the doctors have been good I won´t have cared for the money but no they are more useless than me. Money is a real shit; forget it I just hope to get well in the shortest time. Thanks Monica and Nuno, now I am using crutches of Nuno´s mother. Yes I feel as eighty years old person. But I´ll be well for can dancing again. And the crutches are really useful. I sometimes use them for turn off lights or press the button of elevator. Actually kind of this things reassure and motivate me. And I can empathize better old and sick people. You can find good details even if in bad situation too. So live your life freely!
With peaceful…
