I wish I could write an inspirational story. If you’re looking for one. This it´s definitely not the one. I arrived in Lisbon on national suicide prevention day. But let´s start from the beginning I,m Maria I’m 20 years old. I decided that after getting my high school diploma I have to give myself a break. I had to learn again how to be myself, not basing my self-worth on the grades I get. It took at least 3 months. But then I started feeling like I cannot enjoy time myself on my own I need others. I felt like I really needed to force myself to be on my own, get out of my comfort zone. I haven’t had a stable place to live in Poland which caused me a lot of hurt. I hoped that maybe here in Portugal I will find someplace that would help me hide from my own demons. Today is my second day. The first thing I’ve noticed is that Portuguese women are breathtakingly beautiful. I think the cause of this is that they embrace their femininity in the way they walk talk overall behave. Unfortunately, the night I arrived was truly the worst sleep I had had in my whole life I was tossing and turning all night with casual outbursts of tears. Deciding to move out for two months to another part of the world in September wasn’t a really smart idea. The end of the summer and begging of autumn tends to be the hardest time of the year for me mentally. At the exact moment, I have sat on the cold airport floor in Lisbon waiting for my baggage I realized how much I don’t have enough strength to survive those two months and it only increased from that moment.
We will see what happens in the upcoming days
Keep your fingers crossed
